My desire to live fast and die young has grown even deeper.. Life is just a cruel downward spiral.. Most of us start so high up that they’ll never experience the pain of dropping to the bottom. Most of us die on impact.. But nothing is worse than surviving the bottom.. Broken, alone, unable to move, a prisoner of your own body.. Mercifully asking to die..
Well here I am left to my own devices.. A prisoner of life.. This growing disdain for the person I am, the pain left by the choices I made and my growing hatred for the people who led me to this path is almost unbearable.. I drown myself in sorrow, wallow in self-pity.. Hatred has taken over..
I am disconnected from reality.. My sanity slowly deteriorating.. I feel tired.. Just dead tired..
“ There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.” -American Psycho